I know that I said that I was planning on getting waffles, but there was an unfortunate chain of events which led to me being waffle deprived. By which I mean I arrived at the dining hall too late and the waffle machines were closed down (insert frowney face here). Not only were the waffle makers out of commission... no, to add salt to the wound, the Asian station and the main food station were closed down as well! In fact, the only place open was the grill, where they make burgers and chicken. Only problem was, there was a gigantic line (needless to say I was forced to eat cereal). This fact brings me to my haiku, which is riddled with anger considering my situation.
There really should be
A "take one and come back" rule
For the grill station
Ok, now I know that athletes have the appetite of a midsized cow or small horse, and as a result need to have about 50 burgers to be satisfied (Oh the irony of that comparison). But c'mon- If there is a line of about 10 hungry people, waiting for grilled chicken sandwiches (which is usually the case), and ten grilled chicken breasts are put out, one has no right to take half of those, even if they are first in line. LEARN MANNERS. Just because you are at an Ivy League institution does not give you the right to take other people's opportunities (that's for after you graduate). So please, take a burger, let other people eat, and come back later to feed your selfishness. Thank you.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
It's Waffle Time!
Well, I had a good night's sleep. And no, I did not just wake up. But I am just leaving to brunch. Normally, people tend to think of Sunday as the day for brunch. However, I would like to clarify:
There is no weekend
Lunch or breakfast at college
There is only brunch
Yes, Saturday or Sunday, there is no breakfast or lunch, in spite of what a dining hall schedule may say. So now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a waffle.
This post is boring. Speaking of waffles, last night there was a frat/sorority giving out waffles in the middle of the night. Which made me spontaneously think of this.
Any time between
Ten and two is waffle time.
AM or PM
Waffles are great, but really, you need to have them for brunch, or a midnight snack. Now for a waffle. I'll do a funnier post later. I'm just not in a creative mood I guess.
There is no weekend
Lunch or breakfast at college
There is only brunch
Yes, Saturday or Sunday, there is no breakfast or lunch, in spite of what a dining hall schedule may say. So now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a waffle.
This post is boring. Speaking of waffles, last night there was a frat/sorority giving out waffles in the middle of the night. Which made me spontaneously think of this.
Any time between
Ten and two is waffle time.
AM or PM
Waffles are great, but really, you need to have them for brunch, or a midnight snack. Now for a waffle. I'll do a funnier post later. I'm just not in a creative mood I guess.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Take a Medication for your Uptight-ness
The other day as I was walking, I heard someone say "take a chill pill." This got me thinking: What exactly is a chill pill? I mean, would it be something like Ritalin? Or would it be more like an antihistamine? Regardless of the answer though, the question brought me to this conclusion:
"Dude, take a chill pill"
Should not be taken to mean
Flunitrazipam
If someone were to misinterpret that, who knows where they would end up. They could pass out at their desk and wake up with their face super glued to the desk, clear nail polish on their fingernails that will turn pink when exposed to sunlight, and no pants (not that this has ever happened to anyone). Or it could be worse, though I won't go into that. In any case, I would not recommend rufy-ing your own coffee in the morning if someone tells you to take a chill pill. Even if you're somehow into those consequences I mentioned.
"Dude, take a chill pill"
Should not be taken to mean
Flunitrazipam
If someone were to misinterpret that, who knows where they would end up. They could pass out at their desk and wake up with their face super glued to the desk, clear nail polish on their fingernails that will turn pink when exposed to sunlight, and no pants (not that this has ever happened to anyone). Or it could be worse, though I won't go into that. In any case, I would not recommend rufy-ing your own coffee in the morning if someone tells you to take a chill pill. Even if you're somehow into those consequences I mentioned.
Walking in a Winter Wonderland
So I get up this morning, and the first thing I see? A layer of white covering the tree tops outside my room. That's right, it snowed last night, and it's a winter wonderland out there! Except that there's barely any snow, so it's kind of gross. But who cares!
And today's Friday! Finally. This week, in spite of only being 3 days, seems to have lasted forever. Now what to write about... I'd write about snow, but I always write about weather. So instead I'll write about something that directly correlates to weather, but is not weather!
Here in Ithaca
Winter coats never become
Unfashionable
By which I mean they can be worn practically year round. Ok, that was lame. I'm tired. I was up late song writing.
Topic change!
I have decided to change my rating system (Sorry to those whoa re fans of Shakespeare cred) to something more new-user-friendly, because it occurred to me that not everyone will have read that one post, and so they might not understand it. But worry not, for I shall change it to a bad pun, and you will be content. Bleh, my post this afternoon shall be better.
And today's Friday! Finally. This week, in spite of only being 3 days, seems to have lasted forever. Now what to write about... I'd write about snow, but I always write about weather. So instead I'll write about something that directly correlates to weather, but is not weather!
Here in Ithaca
Winter coats never become
Unfashionable
By which I mean they can be worn practically year round. Ok, that was lame. I'm tired. I was up late song writing.
Topic change!
I have decided to change my rating system (Sorry to those whoa re fans of Shakespeare cred) to something more new-user-friendly, because it occurred to me that not everyone will have read that one post, and so they might not understand it. But worry not, for I shall change it to a bad pun, and you will be content. Bleh, my post this afternoon shall be better.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
It's Raining Snow
I know that I promised to avoid talking about the weather, but I just can't avoid it right now. For any of you not in Ithaca, it's snowing! Well, snowing as in raining snowflakes as in slush. But snowing nonetheless! While snow might suck to some, I personally welcome it, as I prefer snow over rain. This shift brings me to my haiku, which I have yet to think of...
You know that you're in
Ithaca when it starts to
Snow in October
That's right, we really do not have fall here. Summer skips right to winter pretty much, and winter is more or less half of the year. It's like the North or South pole. Except not dark. And without polar bears or penguins. Although that would be cool. Except then every student would need to carry a spear around with them to defend themselves from polar bear attacks. And we could domesticate penguins. I'm pretty sure that penguins could survive here anyways, I mean, we are having wolves to Appel tonight (but actually... at 7:30 in the multipurpose room, there will be wolves. Be there).
You know that you're in
Ithaca when it starts to
Snow in October
That's right, we really do not have fall here. Summer skips right to winter pretty much, and winter is more or less half of the year. It's like the North or South pole. Except not dark. And without polar bears or penguins. Although that would be cool. Except then every student would need to carry a spear around with them to defend themselves from polar bear attacks. And we could domesticate penguins. I'm pretty sure that penguins could survive here anyways, I mean, we are having wolves to Appel tonight (but actually... at 7:30 in the multipurpose room, there will be wolves. Be there).
"B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"
Well, today is Thursday. In actuality it is Wednesday, since I tend to write posts the night before, but we will ignore that fact. It is below freezing, according to weather.com's prediction for Thursday morning, which is about 12 hours away. Ok, this tense thing is becoming far too silly for the likes of me.
Yesterday, I made a startling discovery in the Bethe House dining hall. As all of you should know, I am a huge fan of banana bread (I say "should," as opposed to "do" because it is something that you should know, although don't necessarily know. In any event, you do now, unless you are skipping this paragraph and going straight to the haiku, in which case you are not reading this parenthetical run-on sentence which grows more meaningless as I add more and more words), be it chocolate chip or regular (and yes, I did just add that part so that the sentence could be continued after that tangent). And, being from Boston (WARNING: Stereotype), I do have a fancy for Boston cream pie (though not as much as one may expect). So, when I saw "banana cream pie" at the dining hall desert table, I was quite excited. Here's what I discovered:
Banana cream pie
Is much better in theory
Than in existence
Yes, I found the combination absolutely repulsing. It tasted like rotten bananas, regurgitated by a dog, and then mixed into a Boston cream pie (not that I know what that would taste like). It would be substantially more satisfying to use Boston cream pie as a sort of spread over a piece of banana bread (That rhymed! And I'm going to need to try that now). I can still taste it's horribleness now on Wednesday night... I mean Thursday morning.
If you don't know where the title quote is from, you weren't born in the late 80s or early 90s. Or live under a rock. Or both.
Yesterday, I made a startling discovery in the Bethe House dining hall. As all of you should know, I am a huge fan of banana bread (I say "should," as opposed to "do" because it is something that you should know, although don't necessarily know. In any event, you do now, unless you are skipping this paragraph and going straight to the haiku, in which case you are not reading this parenthetical run-on sentence which grows more meaningless as I add more and more words), be it chocolate chip or regular (and yes, I did just add that part so that the sentence could be continued after that tangent). And, being from Boston (WARNING: Stereotype), I do have a fancy for Boston cream pie (though not as much as one may expect). So, when I saw "banana cream pie" at the dining hall desert table, I was quite excited. Here's what I discovered:
Banana cream pie
Is much better in theory
Than in existence
Yes, I found the combination absolutely repulsing. It tasted like rotten bananas, regurgitated by a dog, and then mixed into a Boston cream pie (not that I know what that would taste like). It would be substantially more satisfying to use Boston cream pie as a sort of spread over a piece of banana bread (That rhymed! And I'm going to need to try that now). I can still taste it's horribleness now on Wednesday night... I mean Thursday morning.
If you don't know where the title quote is from, you weren't born in the late 80s or early 90s. Or live under a rock. Or both.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Pre-Enrollment... Coming Soon to Student Centers Near You
Today Cornell sent out an email announcing the date of pre-enrollment for Spring semester courses (Oct. 21st, for those of you who care... and by Oct. 21st, I actually mean November 4th, and by "I" I mean Cornell, since they lied in their email). For many students, the reaction to this announcement will be an enthusiastic "meh." For me, however, it is great since it means a whole new group of things to learn. From my point of view, the pre-enrollment date is as exciting as a movie or book release date. Which brings me to the point of this post (which I will try to keep short):
You know that you're in
Humanities when you are
Pumped for enrollment
While all of those engineers and such have the opportunity to be excited about fulfilling their next chemistry or calculus requirement, those of us in Arts and Sciences get to legitimately look forward to courses such as "Beowulf" (yes that is a course), or "The History of Rock Music." Yes, it's a good day to be in humanities. Of course, when I'm out of school without a job I may not be as ecstatic, but for now I will take the window I have to laugh at engineers (Sorry, but not really).
You know that you're in
Humanities when you are
Pumped for enrollment
While all of those engineers and such have the opportunity to be excited about fulfilling their next chemistry or calculus requirement, those of us in Arts and Sciences get to legitimately look forward to courses such as "Beowulf" (yes that is a course), or "The History of Rock Music." Yes, it's a good day to be in humanities. Of course, when I'm out of school without a job I may not be as ecstatic, but for now I will take the window I have to laugh at engineers (Sorry, but not really).
College abhors an Oxymoron
Well, for some odd reason, I found it incredibly difficult to fall asleep last night, in spite of the fact that I was about ready to collapse upon my return from home. I attribute this lack of sleep to a lack of exercise while away, and plan to start exercising again soon (by which I mean the usual walking I do here. I don't plan to actually start doing exercise). This shift should probably bring my sleeping pattern back to somewhere in the vicinity of "normal," which will be nice. However, "normal" is a relative term here for people. So while for me normal means going to bed at 12 and getting up at 8, always trying to get 8 hours; for another it may be going to bed at 2 and getting up at 7. No matter the case though, one thing is almost always true:
To have a college
Student well rested would be
An oxymoron
Yes, even with my incredible sleep schedule I too am tired. And for good reason: I'm at college. Anyone here who is sleeping well is doing something else wrong. Either they're not getting their work done, not participating in any extracurricular activities, lacking in procrastination methods, just eating poorly, or any combination of those. And what that would mean is this: They are an oxymoron. Don't worry, that's not a real moron. It's kind of like the difference between Oxiclean and clean. (Don't ask).
The title is an obscure reference to some quote saying "nature abhors a moron" (stated by H.L. Mencken, author of The American Language, and the person who dubbed the Scopes trial as "The Scopes Monkey Trial."). And yes, I may simply have Googled around for some quote with the word "moron" in it.
He also said "The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos," which I think is a pretty good quote. So pretty much I'm on par with the "sage of Baltimore" (yay, Wikipedia). Except not at all really.
To have a college
Student well rested would be
An oxymoron
Yes, even with my incredible sleep schedule I too am tired. And for good reason: I'm at college. Anyone here who is sleeping well is doing something else wrong. Either they're not getting their work done, not participating in any extracurricular activities, lacking in procrastination methods, just eating poorly, or any combination of those. And what that would mean is this: They are an oxymoron. Don't worry, that's not a real moron. It's kind of like the difference between Oxiclean and clean. (Don't ask).
The title is an obscure reference to some quote saying "nature abhors a moron" (stated by H.L. Mencken, author of The American Language, and the person who dubbed the Scopes trial as "The Scopes Monkey Trial."). And yes, I may simply have Googled around for some quote with the word "moron" in it.
He also said "The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos," which I think is a pretty good quote. So pretty much I'm on par with the "sage of Baltimore" (yay, Wikipedia). Except not at all really.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
The Grammar Police, Part II (Putting the "mar" in "grammar")
as u reed this i am on the bus as i spoke of earlier i have chosen to right about grammer and the grammer popo and to raze awareness 4 the issue i have decided to post in poor grammer. (Congratulations, you have earned a period to finally end this sentence!) i hope your impressed.
so by the time u reed this as i sed ^ i have been on teh bus 4 4 hrs and am likely growing quit tiered.
gramer is relly not a touchy enuf subject. i men like people can use horrid grammer and spilling and no one cares even though it really is NOT that much more difficult to use proper grammar. LEARN TO WRITE.
Gah, that's enough of that silliness. Writing in poor grammar is harder for me than using proper spelling and grammar. It takes like 2 seconds of extra effort to make a text have proper grammar, and leads to easier interpretation on the other person's side, and does not lead to as much confusion (for instance, the infamous FML (fmylife.com) post in which a guy is flirting with a coworker and offers to take pictures and send them to her. She says "your nuts!" So, of course, being the proper grammar connoisseur he was, he sent a picture of his nuts, when in fact she meant "you'RE nuts." If you meant it, say it. Such a bimbo. And by bimbo I mean the average (ab)user of poor grammar). This brings me to my haiku which I have yet to think of:
The grammar police
Needs to be an official
Division... of life
Yes, that's right, I said it. We need a grammar police. Not in our government, but in our daily lives. It is a self-appointed position, which really holds no power, but still helps to make the world a better place. What would be ideal is if the government granted the grammar police the power to take any grammar-abuser's phone, throw it on the ground (or floor) and stomp it into a million pieces. Because let's face it: If you can't spell out a two letter word, you don't deserve a cell phone.
so by the time u reed this as i sed ^ i have been on teh bus 4 4 hrs and am likely growing quit tiered.
gramer is relly not a touchy enuf subject. i men like people can use horrid grammer and spilling and no one cares even though it really is NOT that much more difficult to use proper grammar. LEARN TO WRITE.
Gah, that's enough of that silliness. Writing in poor grammar is harder for me than using proper spelling and grammar. It takes like 2 seconds of extra effort to make a text have proper grammar, and leads to easier interpretation on the other person's side, and does not lead to as much confusion (for instance, the infamous FML (fmylife.com) post in which a guy is flirting with a coworker and offers to take pictures and send them to her. She says "your nuts!" So, of course, being the proper grammar connoisseur he was, he sent a picture of his nuts, when in fact she meant "you'RE nuts." If you meant it, say it. Such a bimbo. And by bimbo I mean the average (ab)user of poor grammar). This brings me to my haiku which I have yet to think of:
The grammar police
Needs to be an official
Division... of life
Yes, that's right, I said it. We need a grammar police. Not in our government, but in our daily lives. It is a self-appointed position, which really holds no power, but still helps to make the world a better place. What would be ideal is if the government granted the grammar police the power to take any grammar-abuser's phone, throw it on the ground (or floor) and stomp it into a million pieces. Because let's face it: If you can't spell out a two letter word, you don't deserve a cell phone.
The Grammar Police
Well today marks the end of my "fall break" (which, after transportation, is shorter than the public school's "long weekend"). At 1:30, I board the 7 hour bus back to Ithaca, on which I plan to complete much work, which I doubt will actually happen (especially since I am bring back Monty Python's Meaning of Life, Spaceballs, a season of Monk, and a season of Scrubs). This lack of work is not due to the obvious fact that
Work simply cannot
Be completed when one is
Near a "Scrubs" box set
But rather, it is because, as mentioned in an earlier post, I have trouble working while in motion (or did I ramble on too long to get to that point?... no matter). By "in motion," I don't mean while running or something- that's easy for me; I mean while in a moving vehicle. It makes me nauseated. Oh, and fun fact about that! (don't worry it's not a vomit story). Proper grammar is "I am nauseated" not "I am nauseous." I don't recall where I heard that, but I still say nauseous nonetheless. Damned grammar police. Luckily, I have had very few run-ins with them, since I generally use grammar good, but I hear that they can often be incredibly brutal (Those of you who get "your" and "you're" mixed up had better watch your backs). But that's an entirely different post. Which I shall start writing.... now!
Work simply cannot
Be completed when one is
Near a "Scrubs" box set
But rather, it is because, as mentioned in an earlier post, I have trouble working while in motion (or did I ramble on too long to get to that point?... no matter). By "in motion," I don't mean while running or something- that's easy for me; I mean while in a moving vehicle. It makes me nauseated. Oh, and fun fact about that! (don't worry it's not a vomit story). Proper grammar is "I am nauseated" not "I am nauseous." I don't recall where I heard that, but I still say nauseous nonetheless. Damned grammar police. Luckily, I have had very few run-ins with them, since I generally use grammar good, but I hear that they can often be incredibly brutal (Those of you who get "your" and "you're" mixed up had better watch your backs). But that's an entirely different post. Which I shall start writing.... now!
Monday, October 12, 2009
A New Pair of Plastics
Well today is my last full day back here in beautiful Weston. I take the bus back to Ithaca tomorrow. I am looking forward to getting back, but will also miss home. Well, now that I've gotten that out of the way, what to write about... think, think, think (I'm pondering for those of you unaware). Well, yesterday I went to the glasses store within Costco in order to pick out a new pair of glasses (my current ones are about 6 years old, and do me almost no good)... and I have no idea where I'm going with this post... But yeh, so I'm going back tomorrow and getting a new prescription and then ordering glasses, which hopefully will work well for me. I'm aiming for that "I have glasses and I'm PROUD of it" look, rather than that "look at me, I look like a sophisticated douchebag!" look. Which brings me to my haiku, which I will think of on the spot...
It's strange that people
With glasses don't want them and
Those without them do
I am satisfied with how that turned out. When I say this, I mean how people with glasses almost always wear contact lenses, for one reason or another. And yet, there are people who do not have any eye problems whatsoever but still decide to wear glasses (usually made out of plastic, so shouldn't they be called "plastics"?) which serve no purpose other than to look "cool" even though those with glasses wear contact lenses for the same reason. Wow this is getting wordy. If you don't think people wear glasses for cosmetic purposes, just take a look at the number of people in the entertainment industry who wear them as such (for instance, Kanye or Kid Cudi or many other famous people).
Maybe now people with glasses will stop being so damned embarrassed about wearing them, and wear them more often (I am astounded by the number of people who wear contacts). If asked, they can simply say "nah, they're purely cosmetic, cause I'm cool like that." On the other hand, if someone notices their contacts, they have no excuse! Bleh.
Random thing I noticed! Apparently "8:51 aM" is recognized by blogger as being an "illegal post time." Uh oh, better not let them catch me.
It's strange that people
With glasses don't want them and
Those without them do
I am satisfied with how that turned out. When I say this, I mean how people with glasses almost always wear contact lenses, for one reason or another. And yet, there are people who do not have any eye problems whatsoever but still decide to wear glasses (usually made out of plastic, so shouldn't they be called "plastics"?) which serve no purpose other than to look "cool" even though those with glasses wear contact lenses for the same reason. Wow this is getting wordy. If you don't think people wear glasses for cosmetic purposes, just take a look at the number of people in the entertainment industry who wear them as such (for instance, Kanye or Kid Cudi or many other famous people).
Maybe now people with glasses will stop being so damned embarrassed about wearing them, and wear them more often (I am astounded by the number of people who wear contacts). If asked, they can simply say "nah, they're purely cosmetic, cause I'm cool like that." On the other hand, if someone notices their contacts, they have no excuse! Bleh.
Random thing I noticed! Apparently "8:51 aM" is recognized by blogger as being an "illegal post time." Uh oh, better not let them catch me.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
BJs... (No, not those BJs, get your mind out of the gutter)
So life at home has been good to me so far. Restocked on some supplies and got a new pair of shoes. Now off to Costco to look at glasses. My mom and I did a huge shopping at BJs (for those of you not from around here, it's one of those big warehouse shops that you need a membership to get into), and the whole time I felt like I was betraying Costco. However, we still managed to save lots of money (without switching car insurances), and had an overall successful shopping trip. Something I wondered about alot today (and by a lot I mean I thought enough about it to write a haiku) though is:
I wonder whether
BJs has been sued about
False advertising
I mean, if you walk in there, and expect what the name may suggest- you will be greatly disappointed. In that regard, the name is very unfortunate (or fortunate depending on how you look at it). Although I suppose it's good for getting potential customers to come inside (no pun intended).
I wonder whether
BJs has been sued about
False advertising
I mean, if you walk in there, and expect what the name may suggest- you will be greatly disappointed. In that regard, the name is very unfortunate (or fortunate depending on how you look at it). Although I suppose it's good for getting potential customers to come inside (no pun intended).
Off With His Bread!
Ok, in case you didn't notice- the site's layout is a bit different now. I spent about an hour tweaking with HTML (I am in no way a computer science person, and failed miserably in editing). But I finally achieved my goal of making 3 columns. Not sure if this works on all computers, unfortunately, so let me know if you have issues. I also now have an RSS feed, and overall more room to work with. Now to the post!
I was reading the paper today, and I came across a discovery, which may alter the standing of the Ivy league schools as we know it. As most of you should know (unless you live under a rock or are a pre-med), Harvard is generally ranked as number one, in terms of overall quality and difficulty to get in to. It also generally has good quality of life (which may have something to do with the fact that it is often considered one of the easiest Ivies once you're in... don't blame me, blame the interwebs). However, like I said a few sentences ago (3 for those of you counting), standings may be altered after a discovery I came across:
Harvard may be good
But their upperclassmen do
Not have hot breakfasts
That's right. The article was about how the upperclassmen dorms no longer offer the hot breakfasts that they once did. Just imagine how bad their funding must be if they've eliminated waffles, pancakes, and french toast! They must have already greatly reduced the funding to their curriculum and the dorm maintenance if they are ready to cut down on breakfast foods. I am telling you, this is the beginning of the end for Harvard's top tier status. If they aren't capable of offering students something so simple as waffles each morning, what can they offer?!
And yes, the title has almost nothing to do with the post, but I couldn't help putting it in once I thought of it.
I was reading the paper today, and I came across a discovery, which may alter the standing of the Ivy league schools as we know it. As most of you should know (unless you live under a rock or are a pre-med), Harvard is generally ranked as number one, in terms of overall quality and difficulty to get in to. It also generally has good quality of life (which may have something to do with the fact that it is often considered one of the easiest Ivies once you're in... don't blame me, blame the interwebs). However, like I said a few sentences ago (3 for those of you counting), standings may be altered after a discovery I came across:
Harvard may be good
But their upperclassmen do
Not have hot breakfasts
That's right. The article was about how the upperclassmen dorms no longer offer the hot breakfasts that they once did. Just imagine how bad their funding must be if they've eliminated waffles, pancakes, and french toast! They must have already greatly reduced the funding to their curriculum and the dorm maintenance if they are ready to cut down on breakfast foods. I am telling you, this is the beginning of the end for Harvard's top tier status. If they aren't capable of offering students something so simple as waffles each morning, what can they offer?!
And yes, the title has almost nothing to do with the post, but I couldn't help putting it in once I thought of it.
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