It's Saturdayyyy! The weekend!
For most of this week, it's been Ithaca-cold (I'd say freezing cold, but it would be an understatement). Today, there is frost on the inside of my windows- so I'm guessing that it probably hasn't gotten much warmer. I personally wouldn't be too bothered by the cold if it weren't for the fact that my face and esophagus both freeze when exposed to the cold. This brings me to my haiku, which happens to be in the form of a question (and vice versa):
Is it possible
To keep your face warm without
Looking like a tool?
I mean, if you want to keep your face warm, you have a few options: You can wear a full face mask, and be mistaken for that bank robber who is on the run; you can wear a ski mask with goggles, and everyone will think you're that same robber, but with a vision problem; you can wear a scarf around the lower half of your face and look like you're trying to be from the wild west; you can wear a balaclava and look like you're very lost; a ninja mask and look crazy; a biker's helmet and look like you got your head stuck; or a riot mask. All of these options are less appealing than the next (unless you happen to be a ninja), and it leaves you with very few options of keeping warm. My personal favorite is pulling a Don Zimmer and keeping my head down (while hopefully not running into people). In any case, I would really like to find some sort of alternative that doesn't look absolutely ridiculous. Let me know.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Sandy Loam
It's Friday! Yay!
The first week of classes is passed, and only something like 13 or 14 more are left in the semester! I personally have been enjoying my classes thus far. They're all really interesting, but perhaps the best part is that all of my teachers are incredibly invested in what they teach, be it word etymology, decadence, American studies, or the sociology of health. This bring me to my haiku:
A boring topic
Can become awesome if the
Professor is good
Really. You might have an interesting topic and a bad professor, in which case the professor can kill the topic for you. However, if you have a great professor and the most boring of topics, it can become awesome. You have no idea how exciting something like dirt can be when the teacher enjoys it ("see this?! This is sandy-fricking-loam! Can you believe it?!?!!) . And if you have classes that are already interesting, for instance, any of the classes I'm taking- it becomes even better when the professors are good. In two of my classes yesterday, the professors had to halt discussions in the middle of them, due to going over time. Although, I suppose it's not all the professor's doing- considering that classes can be horrible if the people in the class are boring. Why am I going on about this. This post sucks. The end.
The first week of classes is passed, and only something like 13 or 14 more are left in the semester! I personally have been enjoying my classes thus far. They're all really interesting, but perhaps the best part is that all of my teachers are incredibly invested in what they teach, be it word etymology, decadence, American studies, or the sociology of health. This bring me to my haiku:
A boring topic
Can become awesome if the
Professor is good
Really. You might have an interesting topic and a bad professor, in which case the professor can kill the topic for you. However, if you have a great professor and the most boring of topics, it can become awesome. You have no idea how exciting something like dirt can be when the teacher enjoys it ("see this?! This is sandy-fricking-loam! Can you believe it?!?!!) . And if you have classes that are already interesting, for instance, any of the classes I'm taking- it becomes even better when the professors are good. In two of my classes yesterday, the professors had to halt discussions in the middle of them, due to going over time. Although, I suppose it's not all the professor's doing- considering that classes can be horrible if the people in the class are boring. Why am I going on about this. This post sucks. The end.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Sore Losers
As you should hopefully know (unless you're a Twitter user in the USA, according to Twitter's trending topics location), the State of the Union was last. Obama gave a strong speech, standing in front of Congress and the Supreme Court and other people who I would presume to be important. He spoke of such things that to republicans must have sounded like fairy tales (or ghost stories) their parents would tell them at night ("And then people other than us were able to afford health care!" *insert screams of horror). In any case, he received much support from his fellow Democrats. And behind him the whole time sat Biden and Pelosi, looking like those theatrical tragedy/comedy masks (although occasionally Biden would smile and look remarkably similar to a panda bear). The democrats seemed to clap at every single word and, had I been there, I probably would have just stayed standing- it would have been easier on my leg muscles.
The republicans on the other hand seemed unable to move their hands together. My guess is my haiku:
It would seem that the
Concept of "sore losers" was
Not taught in their schools
I mean, really. You lost, get over it. That's all there is to it. I know that in my rich, predominantly-white school we learned about being sore losers, and were taught not to be. Just because you lost does not mean that you can't laugh when the president says something funny. Just because you lose does not mean that you can't applaud when the president actually says something you agree with. And just because your mommy and daddy bought you stuff in place of love does not mean that you can't try to be respectful.
The republicans on the other hand seemed unable to move their hands together. My guess is my haiku:
It would seem that the
Concept of "sore losers" was
Not taught in their schools
I mean, really. You lost, get over it. That's all there is to it. I know that in my rich, predominantly-white school we learned about being sore losers, and were taught not to be. Just because you lost does not mean that you can't laugh when the president says something funny. Just because you lose does not mean that you can't applaud when the president actually says something you agree with. And just because your mommy and daddy bought you stuff in place of love does not mean that you can't try to be respectful.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Define "Intercourse"
The other day I found another interesting article (sorry to those of you tired of hearing about random articles). Apparently, a California school district voted to ban the Merriam Webster dictionary because it gives a definition of "oral sex."
Apparently, a
Dictionary that does its
Job is a problem
Who would've thought that a dictionary would give a definition of a phrase? I certainly didn't. I mean, it's not like you're supposed to open up a dictionary and find definitions of words. While they're at it, the school should probably vote to ban the Bible for its countless mentions of "begat." Also, the history books could use some touching up. We can't have our nation's children thinking that bad things happen in the world!
Luckily, I found another article stating that the vote to ban it lost, which is good- but the fact that it was even taken into consideration is a bit ridiculous. Some people will do anything to prevent their children from receiving a proper education. After all, how will the children be able to be properly raised in their bubble if there's exposure to the outside world?
Sources: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jayne-lyn-stahl/ban-merriam-websters-dict_b_434831.html
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-dictionary27-2010jan27,0,5566022.story
In other news, I've started another Twitter account which focuses on sharing fabricated factoids with the world. Take a look here: http://twitter.com/fauxfacts
Apparently, a
Dictionary that does its
Job is a problem
Who would've thought that a dictionary would give a definition of a phrase? I certainly didn't. I mean, it's not like you're supposed to open up a dictionary and find definitions of words. While they're at it, the school should probably vote to ban the Bible for its countless mentions of "begat." Also, the history books could use some touching up. We can't have our nation's children thinking that bad things happen in the world!
Luckily, I found another article stating that the vote to ban it lost, which is good- but the fact that it was even taken into consideration is a bit ridiculous. Some people will do anything to prevent their children from receiving a proper education. After all, how will the children be able to be properly raised in their bubble if there's exposure to the outside world?
Sources: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jayne-lyn-stahl/ban-merriam-websters-dict_b_434831.html
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-dictionary27-2010jan27,0,5566022.story
In other news, I've started another Twitter account which focuses on sharing fabricated factoids with the world. Take a look here: http://twitter.com/fauxfacts
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
The Sting of Irony
Yesterday, I read a little something of interest to me. For years now, people have been getting shots of Botox injected into their faces to eliminate wrinkles caused by the excessive tanning that they partake in. It seems harmless right? Just another thing to add to the list of sick things that people do to themselves to keep up with social trends. If this is what you think, though, you're dead wrong. The "tox" in Botox is, in fact, short for "neurotoxin" (whoever thought of this marketing strategy was genius. Personally, I would not pay hundreds of dollars for injections of "botulinum neurotoxin Type A," it just doesn't have a nice ring to it). So pretty much, we have been injecting neurotoxins into our faces in order to defy a natural life process, accelerated by our nation's vanity to begin with.
Well now, it would seem that the toxin found in Botox (albeit in small quantities), is so potent that "a speck of toxin smaller than a grain of sand can kill a 150-pound adult." As a result, there is now a fear of terrorists using it as a WMD. Which would be disastrous. I think the other weapon that comes with this weapon is a bit scarier.
Irony would seem
Another weapon mastered
By the terrorists
Seriously. If Los Angelos is wiped out tomorrow, I can think of no more suitable cause than by a Botox. That is unless the citizens snap in half or drown in money, Elagabalus-style (you probably won't understand that joke. Unless you're taking "Decadence."). So now apparently the terrorists have a better sense of satire. Or they're just trying to be efficient with their plans. If we're lucky, they'll discover Botox's usefulness as a wrinkle-reducer and then use it all up themselves.
My source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/24/AR2010012403013.html
Well now, it would seem that the toxin found in Botox (albeit in small quantities), is so potent that "a speck of toxin smaller than a grain of sand can kill a 150-pound adult." As a result, there is now a fear of terrorists using it as a WMD. Which would be disastrous. I think the other weapon that comes with this weapon is a bit scarier.
Irony would seem
Another weapon mastered
By the terrorists
Seriously. If Los Angelos is wiped out tomorrow, I can think of no more suitable cause than by a Botox. That is unless the citizens snap in half or drown in money, Elagabalus-style (you probably won't understand that joke. Unless you're taking "Decadence."). So now apparently the terrorists have a better sense of satire. Or they're just trying to be efficient with their plans. If we're lucky, they'll discover Botox's usefulness as a wrinkle-reducer and then use it all up themselves.
My source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/24/AR2010012403013.html
Monday, January 25, 2010
Down down down down down down down down
Well, it's been a long and fun break- but I am now returned (that last "e" should have one of those backwards accents on it) to college. Which means I can find inspiration again. Hopefully. And maybe I will be able to think of things to write about again.
I must say, over my break I have been missing this blog. Of course, I've still been tweeting, but it's not the same. I have taken time to write a few songs, but it's hard to write them when I don't have my synthesizer. I could do it on our acoustic piano, but then it might be mistaken for real music, and we couldn't have that- could we? One of the songs I wrote is a rap song, except it's actually serious. So the only entertaining part of it would be laughing at my inability to rap. Although I do have some pretty damn good similes in there, if I do say so myself.
If you really think about it, rap is poetry. It has rhythm, rhyme, and use of literary devices, such as similes, similes, and more similes. Oh, and repetition. This device is usually used with specific words. Mainly "baby," "shawty," or "girl." It is not rare for repetition to be so pronounced that a song is comprised of nothing but one word. For instance, Jay Sean's song "Down," which is pretty much like singing any other song but replacing every single word of it with "down" (the title of this post is actually the chorus of the song. And the bridge. And every other part).
To me, there is really only one important characteristic which separates rap and poetry.
The diff'rence between
Rap and poetry is that
Poets don't get shot
Really, you hear about it in the news every day: Some rapper got shot. It comes as no surprise. However, you rarely hear about poets getting shot. Imagine if Emerson had shot Dickinson for something she said in one of her poems. Now that would have been news. I'm pretty sure the last poetry-related killing was Christopher Marlowe, who apparently was too intellectual for his own good. Rappers probably don't need to worry about that problem.
I must say, over my break I have been missing this blog. Of course, I've still been tweeting, but it's not the same. I have taken time to write a few songs, but it's hard to write them when I don't have my synthesizer. I could do it on our acoustic piano, but then it might be mistaken for real music, and we couldn't have that- could we? One of the songs I wrote is a rap song, except it's actually serious. So the only entertaining part of it would be laughing at my inability to rap. Although I do have some pretty damn good similes in there, if I do say so myself.
If you really think about it, rap is poetry. It has rhythm, rhyme, and use of literary devices, such as similes, similes, and more similes. Oh, and repetition. This device is usually used with specific words. Mainly "baby," "shawty," or "girl." It is not rare for repetition to be so pronounced that a song is comprised of nothing but one word. For instance, Jay Sean's song "Down," which is pretty much like singing any other song but replacing every single word of it with "down" (the title of this post is actually the chorus of the song. And the bridge. And every other part).
To me, there is really only one important characteristic which separates rap and poetry.
The diff'rence between
Rap and poetry is that
Poets don't get shot
Really, you hear about it in the news every day: Some rapper got shot. It comes as no surprise. However, you rarely hear about poets getting shot. Imagine if Emerson had shot Dickinson for something she said in one of her poems. Now that would have been news. I'm pretty sure the last poetry-related killing was Christopher Marlowe, who apparently was too intellectual for his own good. Rappers probably don't need to worry about that problem.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Are We There Yet?
I know what you're probably thinking: "A new post?! But I thought you were dead!" If this is about right, you probably didn't read my last post in December. I am returned from hiatus, and will be back with new force! I shall begin writing again, as would be suggested by the fact that I am currently writing, though I expect that it will be difficult for me to regain the sheer number of visitors I once had (all 6 of you). I do think that eventually I'll reach that level again and perhaps surpass it (those two words are nice together: "perhaps surpass." Just throwing that out there).
If you aren't already, follow me on twitter at twitter.com/teowulf. I have clever and funny tweets, or so I've heard from my most reliable sources... who may just happen to be my close friends. I make insightful comments on anything ranging from dogs to dentists, music to malls, Halliburton to haircuts, Justin Bieber to jumping beavers, and Scott Brown to piles of doggy doo.
It's good to be at Cornell. I want to try to keep my posts concise (which I am obviously already failing at). So I will make a quick haiku and post to overcompensate for this.
Road trips easily
Make light of one of height's few
Disadvantages
Height is something that people normally take for granted when they're tall. Short people always wish they were taller, so that they can do things that normal people can- such as reach the cookie jar on the top shelf, ride the big kid rides at the theme park, or reach the ceiling. Tall people are able to accomplish such things with such ease that they don't even notice. However, when taking a road trip, tall people finally get a chance to feel the pain of their height. You see, unless they just have a freakishly tall torso, their feet are going to be cramped- and it sucks. Other situations in which you might dislike your height are when at the theatre, or in a hobbit hole.
If you aren't already, follow me on twitter at twitter.com/teowulf. I have clever and funny tweets, or so I've heard from my most reliable sources... who may just happen to be my close friends. I make insightful comments on anything ranging from dogs to dentists, music to malls, Halliburton to haircuts, Justin Bieber to jumping beavers, and Scott Brown to piles of doggy doo.
It's good to be at Cornell. I want to try to keep my posts concise (which I am obviously already failing at). So I will make a quick haiku and post to overcompensate for this.
Road trips easily
Make light of one of height's few
Disadvantages
Height is something that people normally take for granted when they're tall. Short people always wish they were taller, so that they can do things that normal people can- such as reach the cookie jar on the top shelf, ride the big kid rides at the theme park, or reach the ceiling. Tall people are able to accomplish such things with such ease that they don't even notice. However, when taking a road trip, tall people finally get a chance to feel the pain of their height. You see, unless they just have a freakishly tall torso, their feet are going to be cramped- and it sucks. Other situations in which you might dislike your height are when at the theatre, or in a hobbit hole.
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