Remember that disturbing video you saw in high school bio that one day? Yeh, that one...

The other day, I passed by a scene outside of Olin Library, which brought me to the brink of vomiting. No, it was not any sort of bodily excrement- for I have stepped in my fair share of doggy doo, and have become accustomed to it. No, it was not any sort of spider or any possible disgusting result of nature... Actually, that's not true. Take the part of nature which is the most natural part of all- a trait common to almost all of Earth's creatures. Now apply that to humans and you have the vomitrocious sight I saw.

That's right, I saw two humans practically reproducing in public space. Now, they weren't actually in the process of mating, but they were very much enthralled in a ritualistic run around the bases that ends in home plate. They were about 120 feet in to that run, sliding into second base. Had I been in a more volatile mood, I may have shouted "get a room." However, I chose to maintain the generally respectable demeanor I keep about me, and my mouth refrained from yelling the words in my head. Though I did end up coming to a conclusion, and the fact that I'm writing about it now only shows that apparently I'm fine with being passive-aggressive as opposed to just plain aggressive. Considering that I'm not naming or directing this at any individuals in particular, I don't think it's too bad.

People showcasing
Their love in public somehow
Are compensating.

I don't want to go all Freudian analysis on it, mainly because I lack the knowledge to, but my general thoughts surrounding this are that anyone who feels it necessary to straddle their mate in public (I say mate because the lack of self-decency is animalistic in more than one way) must have some sort of insecurity when it comes to their relationship. Again, I'm not sure how it works- but if you really need to show off to the world "look, we're nauseatingly in love," chances are you're only trying to prove it to yourself. I would be highly interested in reading a sociological study on the length of relationships with common decency versus those with incredibly public showcases of affection and hornyness. My guess would be that those without displays would have a statistically significant increase in the chance for a long-term relationship. Sorry if I offended any of you who may fall under this category. I'm sure you're a very cute couple if you're reading this blog.

Happy "You're-Single-And-All-Alone,Sucks-To-Be-You" Day

It's Valentine's Day! Everyone's favorite holiday of the year! But not actually.

Valentine's Day is
Loved by all, except for men
And single people.


So it's pretty much just the holiday for taken women. I guess it's supposed to be the one day of the year that girls get to feel like they're the queen. I read an article saying that Valentine's Day is supposedly great for our economy, since it's completely commercialized. I can see that. Except that it's hell for like 75% of the population. It gives men the opportunity to feel like slaves, and single people a reminder that they're lonely.

You know what I don't get? Why is it called Valentine's Day? It's named after St. Valentine, who must have been a priest or something. If that was the case, it would mean he probably didn't get much loving, so it doesn't make much sense to ironically name a day about love after a saint. Wouldn't it seem more fitting if it were Venus or Cupid day?

If you were to ask me, we shouldn't need Valentine's Day. Women in relationships shouldn't need it to be a validation of their man's devotion (every day should be that), and single people certainly don't need the reminder that they're alone. Oh, and our economy certainly shouldn't need more people wasting money (they do that enough).