Litterererers

Last night as I picked up someone else's litter, I realized something.

Imagine if the
Police had enough funding
To charge all rebels.


And by rebels I mean law-breakers. Think about it. Rather than just doing all of the big things, what if they had a homicide-level force for everything?

"Look, litter! Quick, let's dust it for fingerprints and track down our perpetrator"

There could be a whole "CSI: New York Litterers" show. Think about how clean and shiny the world would be if that were the case. Perhaps my favorite situation would be:

"Excuse me sir, my measurements tell me that you are 22 feet away from the building. The sign says 25. I'm going to have to write you a ticket and take you down to the station for questioning."

Although, I suppose it if the police force had this type of funding, it would be a bit ridiculous.

"You there, did you drop this bottle?"
"No officer, I didn't"
"OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE. You're under arrest"

They could easily abuse their power. Also, they could just sit by crosswalks and ticket every car that doesn't give the pedestrian the right of way, since it is technically an offense.

This post has weird spacing. The next one won't be so strange.

"Chase You Down Until You Love Me"

Well, I have finally returned to my home. It's not quite as... dirty as I remember it being. Wonder why that could be.

If you'll recall, yesterday I talked a little about lobbying, which is the legal version of bribery. Today I will talk about a similar scenario.

I just read an article about a man who was arrested for stalking Jennifer Garner. He had allegedly been stalking her since 2002, and she took a restraining order out on him last year. Not only does he clearly have no life, but he also isn't very smart. Stalking charges are rather easy to work around: join the news corps.

The paparazzi
Are nothing but stalkers who
Are called official


I mean, really- they do the exact same thing as stalkers. They follow the celebrities' every move, and then they even go further- they use photographs and such to make money. It would make much more sense if it were the other way around, wouldn't it? I mean, stalkers are the true devotees- who do what they do for a hobby. Jennifer Garner really should be flattered, that someone would put so much time into something that does not garner profits (see what I did there?). It really shows that he is passionate about what he does. Paparazzi on the other hand, do it to make a living. If Burky (the stalker) were smart, he would have become a reporter. It sure would have made life much simpler for him.

The title is from Lady Gaga's song "Paparazzi."