America's Favorite Pastime*

In the news, Duke won the NCAA tournament! In other news, the Earth still spins around its axis and panda bears still eat bamboo.

Also, the other day the baseball season kicked off (although I guess that metaphor doesn't really work for baseball). The Sox (I'd specify which, except no one cares about the White ones) won their first game! And not just against anyone: They beat The Yankees. If you don't live in the Northeast and/or live under a rock, the Red Sox and Yankees have been rivals since forever ago. And they usually win, because baseball is a flawed sport where team strength is almost always based solely on the popularity of baseball in a given area (except if there's a really smart coach, as can be read in Michael Lewis's Moneyball). They usually say that baseball is America's favorite pastime. I'd have to agree. However, I must add a clause to it:

Watching baseball while
Sitting on the couch eating
Chips is our pastime

Really, baseball may be a big pastime, but no one goes to games anymore except for the biggest fans. The pastime is celebrated while loafing around in your lucky boxers and a white undershirt while your significant other yells at you to take out the trash or do the dishes or do the taxes or some other thing which definitely isn't as important as baseball. And most importantly, there's the food. Watching baseball just isn't the same unless you eat all of the foods that keep you from coming anywhere near the shape that the athletes are in. Foods like chips, hot dogs, ice cream, french fries, and anything else unhealthy that you can stuff down your esophagus. All of those combined are truly America's pastime.

"Concrete jungle where dreams are made of"

It's over! It's all over! The end of spring break as we know it is here! And classes shall be commencing, again. Sigh. Well, not especially, since I like my classes, but still.

During break, I had a good time in Chicago. I had never been, so it was nice to see the city, and I must say- I was impressed. It is much more towering and much more extraordinary than Boston (which by Chicago standards hardly qualifies as a real city). It is just a fantastic city. If you asked me to compare it to New York City, here's what I'd say:

Chicago is New
York, minus the honking, mean
People, and litter.


Seriously. I heard more sirens than I did car horns. Of course, this could mean there are just many more emergencies than angry drivers, but from what I noticed, the only people who ever honked were cab drivers, and usually they had good reason to be doing so. At the same time, everyone there was nice. It's like they're under some sort of spell (let's call it "blissful ignorance") that makes them unable to realize what a mess our society is in. They just go about their days, greeting each other and smiling. Then, there's absolutely no trash. There may be a cigarette butt here and there, or the occasional puddle of dog pee, but from what I saw there was no real litter. I attribute this to the nice people who not only avoid littering but also pick up others' litter.

I guess what I'm trying to say is if you took a bunch of people from Chicago and made them live in New York, they'd end up dead or in a mental institution (and if you took Buddy from Elf and put him in Chicago, he'd fit right in).


The title quote is from Jay-Z's "Empire State of Mind."

Wanted: The Grinch, on 304 million counts of breaking and entering, theft, impersonating a government official, and unethical treatment of an endangered species

Well. It's the start of a new day. Tuesday, to be precise. I plan to lock myself in the library today and finish a paper or two. Chances are, this won't go exactly as planned, but I will try nonetheless. More than being the start of a new day, it's the start of something much, much greater- 31x greater to be precise: A new month. That number, however, is only quantitative. In terms of quality, the percent increase is much much higher. Why? Because it is December!

I can hear you asking now "Why do you care about December, Theo? It's just another month! And it's cold!" Well, the answer is that December is not just any month- it's a magical and joyous month. Between the holiday season, New Years (although I know this technically isn't December. Sort of), and my birthday- the month is great for everyone, unless you don't affiliate with a religion/don't celebrate holidays. Or hate happiness. Or both.

You see, in December- the best in people tends to come out. They enter into a month-long holiday spirit, and insist on giving and receiving gifts. And now you're saying "but it's about the spirit, right? Not the gifts? That's what my mommy always told me!" Well, first, you can't believe everything your mother says, can you? For instance, you're not special, Santa isn't real, and you're probably adopted. But second, the answer is: wrong.

The holiday season is all about the material objects. How on earth can you be in a happy mood if you didn't get that new Mercedes you asked for?

Without presents, the
Holiday season would be
Pointless. Oh, and suck.


Okay, I know that that haiku was rather lame, but think about it: without presents, the holiday season would not be a holiday season- no one would care about it except for the religious. Contrary to what Dr. Seuss may want you to believe, our society's Christmas would fail if the Grinch pulled the same stunt he did with Whoville. It would be like holding a dance party without any dancing. Or a pool party without the pool. Or a birthday party without the party. It would be a flop of a holiday. Any holiday that isn't highly commercialized simply fails to be cared for by society, for instance- any Jewish holiday.

I guess, in layman's terms- December would be nothing without all of the over-commercialized material bullshit that goes on. God forbid we have holidays that are about the spirit of them.