America's Favorite Pastime*

In the news, Duke won the NCAA tournament! In other news, the Earth still spins around its axis and panda bears still eat bamboo.

Also, the other day the baseball season kicked off (although I guess that metaphor doesn't really work for baseball). The Sox (I'd specify which, except no one cares about the White ones) won their first game! And not just against anyone: They beat The Yankees. If you don't live in the Northeast and/or live under a rock, the Red Sox and Yankees have been rivals since forever ago. And they usually win, because baseball is a flawed sport where team strength is almost always based solely on the popularity of baseball in a given area (except if there's a really smart coach, as can be read in Michael Lewis's Moneyball). They usually say that baseball is America's favorite pastime. I'd have to agree. However, I must add a clause to it:

Watching baseball while
Sitting on the couch eating
Chips is our pastime

Really, baseball may be a big pastime, but no one goes to games anymore except for the biggest fans. The pastime is celebrated while loafing around in your lucky boxers and a white undershirt while your significant other yells at you to take out the trash or do the dishes or do the taxes or some other thing which definitely isn't as important as baseball. And most importantly, there's the food. Watching baseball just isn't the same unless you eat all of the foods that keep you from coming anywhere near the shape that the athletes are in. Foods like chips, hot dogs, ice cream, french fries, and anything else unhealthy that you can stuff down your esophagus. All of those combined are truly America's pastime.