Man vs. Climate

Yesterday it was supposed to storm. The day before it was supposed to storm. Both days it was beautiful, minus a couple of rough patches. I'm pretty sure Cornell Days and Ithaca are in direct conflict. That, or Ithaca weather is schizophrenic.

If you know anything about Cornell, you should know that weather during Cornell days is fantastic 90% of the time, and all days leading up and following it are horrendous, as usual. However, this year, things seem to be changing (can you say "climate change"?). The sunny weather came a week early, and now there's supposed to be all of this bad weather, but Cornell Days is holding out thus far. Now the sky is grey and cloudy, but I can still see some blue (which is better than what we usually have). Here's the conclusion that I've come to though:

If climate change can
Mar Cornell Days' weather, there's
No telling its strength

Really. Good weather during Cornell Days is an established fact. I don't know how they did it (deal with the devil) but somehow that's just how it always works, year after year. But now, climate change is going and ruining the tradition. It's just like the Tsar in Fiddler on the Roof, except it doesn't persecute Jews specifically. That would sort of suck if it did. Although at a school where a third of the students are Jewish, it may as well. So what do I propose we do to stop this madness? We need to tie up Al Gore, bring him here, and force him to directly fight the climate change, mano el climato. It'd be like Man vs. Wild, but done in a suit and without eating wild animals.

Enjoy it while it lasts

It's a beautiful summer day. That's right, not Spring: Summer. All because Ithaca's cool like that, and does not believe in Fall or Spring, as I have reiterated a countless number of times.

Unfortunately, it is still Ithaca, and we still have the month of April, and therefore we will still be having plenty of rain to come. Yes, this gorgeous weather won't last forever, so take advantage of it while you can. Go outside, go biking, go hiking, play frisbee, play golf, play frisbee golf, sun tan, photosynthesize (which, in spite of what science may tell you, can be done by human beings), and just have a good time. Wait. I've forgotten something. We're at Cornell.

Weather isn't much
Concern when you spend your days
In the library

I've probably posted something along these lines before, but bear with me. While it's true that good weather is always a blessing, when you spend your days buries in bookshelves, you don't pay much attention to weather. Whether the weather (see what I did there?) is good or bad doesn't matter, since it'll be nighttime when you're out anyways.

We just returned from spring break and already there are papers to do and prelims to study for. But such is life. I would urge you though, no matter how many equations you need to memorize, poems you need to analyze, essays you need to improvise, or Wikipedia articles you need to plagiarize, to go outside. Have fun, enjoy this weather while you can, because you never know when the rain will return. Just remember: don't do anything you might regret, use protection. Sunburns are a pain in the ass (although that's one spot that hopefully won't get sunburned).

Cold Hard Truth Day

There's not a cloud in the sky on this fine, warm day. And today, it is the first day of April, otherwise known as April 1st.

There's this silly tradition people have where April 1st becomes April Fools day. It becomes this crazy day loved by kids where you can say practically anything and get away with it. If you are waiting for the perfect moment to propose to your significant other, it's now- since you can just say "April Fools!" if they say no. In all honesty, April Fools day is perfect for cold hard honesty. Think about it.

April Fools day is
The day to test the waters
For any big news.


Waiting to come out to your parents? Do it today! If they're appalled, say April Fools. Want to introduce your non-Jewish girlfriend to your Orthodox Jew parents? Do it today! Want to confess to the police about your hit and run last year and how you panicked and just kept driving and driving and have since carried all of the guilt with you? Don't do it today, they won't care if its April Fools day.

In other news, I'm pretty sure that today's weather is Ithaca's April Fools joke on us.

It's Never Sunny in Ithaca

Well, Cornell is on the front cover of the New York times, but not for any reason I would hope. Not for groundbreaking new research or the quality of the school itself, but for the three suicides that have occurred in the past month.

On a brighter note, it's another beautiful day here. And I still have essays to write and homework to do. As I said yesterday on Twitter: "I put the fun in 'spend a beautiful, warm, and sunny day inside doing homework.' Didn't see the fun? That's because there isn't any." That's how it works on the rare occasion that it's nice out. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the reason Cornell is such a reputable school is because of its location. Think about it:

It's always cloudy
At Cornell, so students must
Stay in and study

Really, there's not much else to do. If it was always beautiful here, you'd want to be outside frolicking in the sun and photosynthesizing. However, that is not the case, and as a result you spend all of your waking hours in a windowless library room, with no sun- which is not a problem since there's never any sun anyways. And that's why my essays are not done yet, it's just too pretty outside.

Oh, and did I mention that it's St. Patrick's day? Yeh, I probably should have just written about that, would have been much easier. I'll write about it tomorrow, you'll never know the difference.


The title is a play on "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."

Trailblazing

O...M...G. That's all I can say about the weather right now. We had a "delay" today, meaning that classes between 8 and 9:30 were canceled (aka AAP and Engineer's classes). Not that it really mattered, although I'm sure some people were grateful. The main problem though is shoveling. Here's what I have to say:

Winter maintenance
Is proof that Cornell does not
Believe in winter


I'm pretty sure that snow is against Cornell's religion, and so they deny its presence. Seriously. There could be 10 feet of snow and we'd still have class. And then there's the fact that Cornell refuses to shovel or to plow most paths (they "plow" some of the main paths, but that's it). As a result, most "paths" are from people being trailblazers (minus the actual blazing, though that might help). We have practically no maintenance which is unfortunate. Especially when you consider that they could be paying someone minimum wage to go out and shovel, and it would cost them like 20 bucks to have the arts quad cleared. You know what I make of all of this? That our head-honchos are elves. Think about it, it explains in perfectly- they can walk on top of the snow and therefore don't think winter maintenance is necessary. And, since we can't all be elves, I think in the mean time I'll grab myself some snowshoes, cross-country skis, or a hoverboard, and head over to class.

Ithaca's Irony

It's a Sunday. Which means classes tomorrow. And which means everyone is sitting at their computers like I am now and doing work (unlike I am now).

I'm pretty sure our town is familiar with irony. Really.

Whenever it's nice
Out- sunny and beautiful,
It's always freezing


Today is an absolutely gorgeous day. However, after 2 minutes outside, you will have enough of it. Yesterday, on the other hand, was ugly but warm (comparatively). It's like the city of Ithaca is trying to torture us. And to add insult to injury, it's a Sunday. Today is the day that everyone is too hungover to go out, and has to spend time working. Yesterday though, that's when people go out and have fun. And it was ugly. I swear, this town hates its students. Just wait till Cornell Days comes around. The weather will be perfect every single day visitors are there. Before and after though? Rain. I guess that's what we get for going to school in Ithaca.

The Weather Outside is Spiteful

Today is Tuesday! Nothing really important is happening today. Or this week as a whole, for that matter.

The Olympics are still going on though. And we're OWNING. We have almost TWICE as many medals as the person in 2nd place (we have 8, they have 5). Sadly, I haven't had much time to watch, but it's nice to know that we're able to continue our Olympic dominance (surprise surprise).

It's not especially cold today, though it is snowing. However, the other day I heard something a little depressing.

It is sad to hear
That the high for the day is
Just below freezing.

Really. The other day I was listening to the radio and the announcer said that. It just sounds depressing and makes you realize exactly where you are. What might be even more upsetting is the fact that freezing is not that cold in Ithaca. Right now it has to be below freezing, but I'm really not that cold (though I am indoors right now). I suppose if it's not too windy then the cold isn't too bad. qefkfneqfknqqfew bleh. That's all I can think to talk about right now. I'm lame like that.

It's Snowing, It's Snowing!

It's snowing out today! And I learned that just because it's "beautiful" outside doesn't mean that it's also "nice" outside. Apparently this blizzard is that huge one that was supposed to hit, which is weird, since it doesn't seem abnormal.

Some of my friends were hoping for a snow day, something that I found rather ridiculous. It's not just the fact that it's college, and we can walk places- it's the fact that it's Ithaca.

To have a snow day
In Ithaca would be like
A North Pole snow day


I mean really. We're in Ithaca. What do you expect? Snow such as this isn't strange. It's perfectly usual. I personally will never expect a snow day (unless we have 3 feet of snow or so), and if one happens to hit it will be certainly serendipitous. And besides, a snow day at college means very little. You still have to do all of your reading and such, and class really is not much of a burden to go to (it's the work that kills you). So, unless there's a snow storm that goes indoors, it shouldn't be much of an issue.

But I AM a Ninja

It's Saturdayyyy! The weekend!


For most of this week, it's been Ithaca-cold (I'd say freezing cold, but it would be an understatement). Today, there is frost on the inside of my windows- so I'm guessing that it probably hasn't gotten much warmer. I personally wouldn't be too bothered by the cold if it weren't for the fact that my face and esophagus both freeze when exposed to the cold. This brings me to my haiku, which happens to be in the form of a question (and vice versa):

Is it possible
To keep your face warm without
Looking like a tool?


I mean, if you want to keep your face warm, you have a few options: You can wear a full face mask, and be mistaken for that bank robber who is on the run; you can wear a ski mask with goggles, and everyone will think you're that same robber, but with a vision problem; you can wear a scarf around the lower half of your face and look like you're trying to be from the wild west; you can wear a balaclava and look like you're very lost; a ninja mask and look crazy; a biker's helmet and look like you got your head stuck; or a riot mask. All of these options are less appealing than the next (unless you happen to be a ninja), and it leaves you with very few options of keeping warm. My personal favorite is pulling a Don Zimmer and keeping my head down (while hopefully not running into people). In any case, I would really like to find some sort of alternative that doesn't look absolutely ridiculous. Let me know.

Let it Snow

Today is Saturday! But for me, and my overtly long winter break, it's the same as any other day of the week! Except on Saturday my high school friends don't have school, so I guess there's a tiny difference. I don't really notice though- I still call them at like 1 PM saying "hey, I just got up, come over to my house" and they're all like "I'm in class, Theo! Go away!" And then I laugh at them. Good times...

In the news, it is not snowing here. And it should be. It's snowing pretty much everywhere else, from what I've heard. My high school friends don't want the snow to come till the week starts so that they could get a snow day, and I just laughed when they told me that. Apparently it's snowing in DC, which is just unfair. They need to learn to share with the rest of the country. Damned elitist politicians.

I could talk about snow, but it's not snowing- so that would be improper, inaccurate, and incognito (that last one didn't make sense, but I was on a role). Actually, on second thought, I think I may talk about snow, since, according to the NYTimes, the storm is "racing North." Source. The problem is what to say. Snow isn't exactly something you can easily talk about. See, you could start writing- but then you see the snow and you just have to run outside. Well, adults might not have that problem- but I do. It's also sort of surreal-ish, and hard to contain in words, or in the palm of your hand. It melts from your grasp. I am so poetic.


If kids could control
The fall of snow there would be
No snow days, ever


See, you're probably thinking that if students could control the fall of snow, it would happen pretty much every day in order to create snow days. And if that happened, I'm sure our society would have gotten used to it by now, and created technology to adapt. Or maybe we just wouldn't care anymore. It's like Alaska- I'm sure they don't have snow days all that often. And if it snowed too much they'd probably just take sled dogs to school. Which would be epic.

Judging a Cornell Student By Its Cover

Well, the weekend is upon us. And I cannot express how happy I am. I can finally sit back and relax. Until I have to write my two essays for Monday.

Yesterday, in spite of the freezing cold, I spent about an hour outside people watching. And I realized something:

You can always tell
Where someone's from based on their
Clothing in winter.


Here's a quick guide:

Hoodie + jeans = Northeast
Jacket + jeans = Midwest
Coat + jeans = South, or well-prepared person
Hoodie + jeans + shivering = Freshman from the South
Shorts + anything = crazy, or from the arctic
No pants (tights) + anything = sorority girl
Greek letters on hoodie = Frat boy, or someone actually from Greece.
Person in a Harvard shirt = "I applied early to Harvard, assumed I was getting in, was rejected, and had to settle with Cornell"
Person with [insert state school here] shirt = "My sibling is going to this school. I'm going to Cornell to show that I'm better than him/her"

This was a rather barren and sad post. I will be posting later about everybody's favorite trend: "That Time in the Evening When it Starts to Get Dark." Also known as "Twilight."

Christopher Robin Loses A Grand

Well, my early event was canceled due to rain. It's been predicted to be rainy and ugly all day. Strangely enough, it's sunny right now with barely a cloud in the sky. Gotta love meteorologists.

Know what I just realized? I haven't posted about meteorologists yet. Which is strange, because they're such an easy target for ridicule. Maybe that's why. Maybe they're just too easy for me... Oh well, I'm going to make fun of them anyways (Sorry for getting your hopes up if you're a meteorologist).

Let's see, where to start, where to start. So many things to talk about and only so long I can talk before losing your interest (and if you're reading this part, I'll assume I haven't lost your interest yet). I think I'll start with a haiku.

If people gambled
On weather, the odds would be
Against weathermen


What I'm trying to say here is that if meteorology was a professional gambling sport, so many people would bet against meteorologists that betting for them could net you a lot of money (on that occasion that they're right). They probably aren't paid too much, so that may actually be a good way to make money on the side. Black market weather gambling. Sounds so illicit when I say it. It'd play out something like this:

"What are the odds of Precipitation today?"
"Well, sir, official weather reports place her at 75%, and so odds right now are 3:1 against."
"Hmmm, I'll put a grand on Precipitation by 2 PM today!"
"Alright, it's your money after all"
"Damn right it is"
(2 hours later)...
"Damnit."

The title is in reference to Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin's "Tut, tut, it looks like rain" quote.

Also, stay tuned because I'm going to be posting mah surprise later this afternoon and/or early tonight. And I'm removing the rating system for now because it simply diminishes my glory.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

So I get up this morning, and the first thing I see? A layer of white covering the tree tops outside my room. That's right, it snowed last night, and it's a winter wonderland out there! Except that there's barely any snow, so it's kind of gross. But who cares!

And today's Friday! Finally. This week, in spite of only being 3 days, seems to have lasted forever. Now what to write about... I'd write about snow, but I always write about weather. So instead I'll write about something that directly correlates to weather, but is not weather!

Here in Ithaca
Winter coats never become
Unfashionable

By which I mean they can be worn practically year round. Ok, that was lame. I'm tired. I was up late song writing.

Topic change!

I have decided to change my rating system (Sorry to those whoa re fans of Shakespeare cred) to something more new-user-friendly, because it occurred to me that not everyone will have read that one post, and so they might not understand it. But worry not, for I shall change it to a bad pun, and you will be content. Bleh, my post this afternoon shall be better.

It's Raining Snow

I know that I promised to avoid talking about the weather, but I just can't avoid it right now. For any of you not in Ithaca, it's snowing! Well, snowing as in raining snowflakes as in slush. But snowing nonetheless! While snow might suck to some, I personally welcome it, as I prefer snow over rain. This shift brings me to my haiku, which I have yet to think of...

You know that you're in
Ithaca when it starts to
Snow in October


That's right, we really do not have fall here. Summer skips right to winter pretty much, and winter is more or less half of the year. It's like the North or South pole. Except not dark. And without polar bears or penguins. Although that would be cool. Except then every student would need to carry a spear around with them to defend themselves from polar bear attacks. And we could domesticate penguins. I'm pretty sure that penguins could survive here anyways, I mean, we are having wolves to Appel tonight (but actually... at 7:30 in the multipurpose room, there will be wolves. Be there).

The Windshield Wiper Widower

So I am (finally) home for fall break. After my 7 hour bus ride, I arrived home and surprised my parents. On the bus, I had planned to accomplish tons of work. When that obviously failed to be done, I decided to do some haiku writing. However, I even failed at that and only was able to crank out 4 haikus. I then solved 4 clues in the New York Times Crossword Puzzle, and then just stared into space for the remaining trip while trying to fall asleep.

While I was listening to the incredibly annoying "squuueeeeeeeeek...... squuuueeeeeeeeeeek..... squueeeeeeeek" sounds of the windshield wipers (which sounded remarkably like a tortured cat... not that I know the sound of a tortured cat) I realized something:

Windshield wipers are
One invention that cannot
Be abused by man


Yes, it may seem obvious, but I bet you've never thought of that. We always hear about all sorts of fantastic inventions of man kind being abused by power or simply being misused (for instance, a cane in the hands of William Zantzinger, a pipe in the hands of Colonel Mustard, or a microphone in the hands of Miley Cyrus). However, we never hear about people misusing windshield wipers. I wonder why that is (just wait till tomorrow when the "windshield wiper widower" serial killer strikes and proves me wrong). And yes, this is random, but I'm tired, so be quiet. And I'm home. Mmmmm, Tempurpedic.

Blowin' in the Wind

Today is a rather nippy day. I would not call it cold, only a little chilly. The real brutal-ness of the weather today comes solely from the ridiculous wind. I saw a weird tent structure that had been set up outside of our dining hall (made out of metal poles and stuff) blow upside down. All of the twiggy girls have to grab on to trees or poles so as to not be caught it in the wind. Which brings me to my main point:

If Chicago's known
For wind better than here, it
Must hurricane there


Seriously, I always here people complain and/or joke about wind in Chicago, and yet the wind here is horrible. Which makes me think that they must always either have hurricanes or tornadoes there.

Sorry for another weather post. Can't help it, it's so easy to talk about. And now the sun just came out! Also the Cornell chimes today played Dylan's "Blowin' in the Wind" which I just realized the point of as I wrote it into my title.

Mr. Sun, We Meet Again

Today is a BEAUTIFUL day. And I am not being sarcastic. The temperature is a little warm, but the wind makes it absolutely perfect! It may well be the best weather day we've had since I've been here. I know I've always talked about Ithaca weather being bad, and it usually is, which makes these rare nice days absolutely amazing. Which brings me to my haiku:

Good weather days in
Ithaca are like Tigger:
They catch you off guard


Yes, when I say Tigger, I am referring to the character from Winnie the Pooh (their tops are made out of rubber, their bottoms are made out of springs!). A few friends and I re-watched the classic Winnie the Pooh, and it was just as amazing as I had remembered it, if not more. In case you led a deprived childhood, Tigger would always pounce the characters when they least expected it. Nice days in Ithaca are just like that, you never expect them and then they pounce on top of you! Minus all of the back problems that may result from the constant pouncing... Plus cancer...

It's a Beautiful Day

Today, it is 50 degrees. Warmer than yesterday. Luckily it is also not supposed to rain and so far has no been.... A day of great weather by Ithaca's standards.

Ithaca in fall
Is not unlike an ice cube
Submerged in pure cold


Now, when I say I fall.... I really mean winter, since Ithaca skips autumn and goes right in to winter. It's October now, so snow is right around the corner.

Sorry, couldn't help but talk about the weather. It inspires me to mope in my room all day and write about how much it inspires me to do so.

Uniforms

Today, as I walked around the campus in the 40 degree weather, I realized something.

Cornell has a dress
Code: Long underwear, hoodies,
Thick pants, and layers


Really, well we may not have an actual dress code, but we may as well. Everyone is dressed the exact same way, with some variation such as types of jackets or the material of hats. And those who happen to be still dressed in flip-flops and shorts are looked at as one of two things: Crazy, or they've lived in Ithaca for a while.

And this post is too short to qualify as a half post, so I'm gonna do precisely what I've been taught not to do in essays: add fluff.

Fluff              fluff         fluff    
fluff        fluff          wool.      Cottonballs         fluff         fluff    
styrofoam packing peanuts.

I am cold. That fluff
Would serve well to keep me warm.
Frosty the Snowman.



Fin.

"Baby, I hate days like this"

I know the other day I promised I wouldn't talk about weather, but that was then and this is now. So I have, once again, decided to talk of weather, since it is a very solid thing to talk of whilst in Ithaca.

Today, once again
The sky's gray, the ground is wet,
And I am quite soaked.


Word of advice: bring an umbrella everywhere. No matter how beautiful it may be in the morning, there is always a high probability of rain. If you'd like, you could probably bring your shampoo everywhere and not even have to shower. I do, in fact, bring an umbrella everywhere, but am still quite wet in spite of that, you see:

Why is it that rain
In Ithaca feels compelled
To travel sideways?


That's right, unless you're fully clad in impermeable garb, you are bound to get wet. Sorry to be the harbinger of hellish news (bearer of bad news is an exhausted expression).


The title is from the Mika song "Rain."