The Windshield Wiper Widower

So I am (finally) home for fall break. After my 7 hour bus ride, I arrived home and surprised my parents. On the bus, I had planned to accomplish tons of work. When that obviously failed to be done, I decided to do some haiku writing. However, I even failed at that and only was able to crank out 4 haikus. I then solved 4 clues in the New York Times Crossword Puzzle, and then just stared into space for the remaining trip while trying to fall asleep.

While I was listening to the incredibly annoying "squuueeeeeeeeek...... squuuueeeeeeeeeeek..... squueeeeeeeek" sounds of the windshield wipers (which sounded remarkably like a tortured cat... not that I know the sound of a tortured cat) I realized something:

Windshield wipers are
One invention that cannot
Be abused by man


Yes, it may seem obvious, but I bet you've never thought of that. We always hear about all sorts of fantastic inventions of man kind being abused by power or simply being misused (for instance, a cane in the hands of William Zantzinger, a pipe in the hands of Colonel Mustard, or a microphone in the hands of Miley Cyrus). However, we never hear about people misusing windshield wipers. I wonder why that is (just wait till tomorrow when the "windshield wiper widower" serial killer strikes and proves me wrong). And yes, this is random, but I'm tired, so be quiet. And I'm home. Mmmmm, Tempurpedic.