A Triumphant Return

Wow. Sorry for saying that I'd try to update my blog over the summer, and then failing miserably to do so. I've just been busy, and, to be honest- there wasn't much to talk about. Home is not college, and anyone can sit on their butts at home observing what goes on- that's what Twitter's for. It takes a real pro to observe college from a real subjective, poetic viewpoint. I have a New College) Year resolution, which is to actually keep my posts a reasonably length. It'll be challenging, but I think I can do it.

Now, the question I'm sure all 2 of you are asking is whether I can just pick up my blog again and be as good as before. I'm not gonna make any promises, but I can guarantee you that I will try as hard as I can possibly attempt to try maybe.

And the moment you've all been waiting for:

Haikus are quite hard
To come back to after a
While. Obviously.

If you're wondering what I've been doing that's had me so busy, it's a variety of things. One such thing is my songwriting. I have been doing much songwriting. It's not funny writing, it's actually rap believe it or not. However, as my paper from my summer course argues, much of rap music is incredibly witty. And I'd like to think some of my work falls into that category. So I thought I would occasionally take the opportunity to share various rhymes with you. This will not be one of those occasions.

"Concrete jungle where dreams are made of"

It's over! It's all over! The end of spring break as we know it is here! And classes shall be commencing, again. Sigh. Well, not especially, since I like my classes, but still.

During break, I had a good time in Chicago. I had never been, so it was nice to see the city, and I must say- I was impressed. It is much more towering and much more extraordinary than Boston (which by Chicago standards hardly qualifies as a real city). It is just a fantastic city. If you asked me to compare it to New York City, here's what I'd say:

Chicago is New
York, minus the honking, mean
People, and litter.


Seriously. I heard more sirens than I did car horns. Of course, this could mean there are just many more emergencies than angry drivers, but from what I noticed, the only people who ever honked were cab drivers, and usually they had good reason to be doing so. At the same time, everyone there was nice. It's like they're under some sort of spell (let's call it "blissful ignorance") that makes them unable to realize what a mess our society is in. They just go about their days, greeting each other and smiling. Then, there's absolutely no trash. There may be a cigarette butt here and there, or the occasional puddle of dog pee, but from what I saw there was no real litter. I attribute this to the nice people who not only avoid littering but also pick up others' litter.

I guess what I'm trying to say is if you took a bunch of people from Chicago and made them live in New York, they'd end up dead or in a mental institution (and if you took Buddy from Elf and put him in Chicago, he'd fit right in).


The title quote is from Jay-Z's "Empire State of Mind."

Only YOU can prevent perpetuation of stereotypes

Cornell is a ghost town. Everyone is gone. I see people wandering the hallways aimlessly, as if still in shock over the sudden absence. People look at me as if they've seen a ghost, because honestly- there is no one here. My guess is that everyone vanished yesterday, as I hypothesized. That, or they've left this morning. What's amazing is that some people stay around for the whole bread. Though the college leaves dorms open, they do all but encourage students to stay- closing all of the dining halls and coffee-shops.

Me? I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon. Over 24 more hours before I go. Lucky for me, I'm done with all of that work I had, so I can relax now. Of course, there's always the possibility that the seclusion and lack of things to do will drive me insane. I'm okay with it though, as I'm already halfway there.

People yesterday were saying bye and wishing us good spring breaks and such. However, I think some advice is better than other:

The one saying I've
Heard that is quite wise is to
"Have a safe spring break"

Honestly, considering the stereotypes that have evolved around spring break, it's really quite suitable for them to give us such wishes. And I will do the same: Have a fun spring break, and always remember: "Only YOU can prevent the perpetuation of stereotypes!"

I myself will be taking spring break from my blog as well, since I will be in Chicago and quite busy. I'll be back on Saturday or so, and if you can't wait till then, check me out on Twitter as I will be sure to keep that updates. Also, tomorrow I'll be in the airport, and we all know that airport tweets are the best (so much to make fun of)!

Get used to it

Monday! The start of a new week, and, more importantly- the last week before spring break!

With spring break right around the corner, you would think that students would be ready to wind down for their break. However, this is by no means true. In fact, students are working harder than ever. This week I have two essays due and a large homework assignment. Other people have the same type of things but with midterms on that. All in all, the last week before break is hell.

Why?

Apparently they
Need to remind students that
We are at Cornell

Really, it's just not obvious enough from our workloads. They need to pile on all of the work right before we go away so we know that just because we have a break doesn't mean we can start unwinding for it quite yet. So while all of our friends are back home on their colleges' breaks, relaxing and having fun- we're staying up till ungodly hours studying, writing, and drinking coffee (or tea or hot chocolate, whatever floats your boat... which is actual quite a good metaphor for the scenario). So, to help the cause, I too would like to remind you, if you're at Cornell: You're at Cornell. Get used to it.

A Carefree Christmas (though this is an oxymoron...)

It's Tuesday! Last night was the finale of The Sing-Off and it was epic. The group I had hoped would win, Tufts University's "The Beelzebubs," did not win, and the group that I expected to win, "Nota," did win. It was disappointed, but satisfying at the same time- because though I was upset, I was also right. And being right is always nice. That's it for the news. If you could call it news.

With this post, I have decided to take a break from blog-posting for a little bit. Christmas is coming up quickly, followed by New Year's, so it's hard to find time between friends and family. Plus, it's difficult to find topics while not at college. And Jon Stewart's on hiatus, making things even harder. I'll be back some time after New Year's, so do not fret. Also, be sure to check back for a new song posting at some point soon. I'm trying to create a song pertaining to a certain upcoming holiday. I'll also have another one to post later hopefully. That is if my piano's acoustics work alright for recording on my sad little Macbook's mic.

"University"
Is a five syllable word
For "utopia"

Now, don't get me wrong- college is far from perfect. However, it is about as close to perfect as many can get in this society. Being at college is being inside of a bubble, with its own air supply (so you don't suffocate. Unless you're premed, then you're transferred to the pressure cooker). You have your own place to stay, you're finally free from home, you have great non-home food (well, this is of course dependent on where you attend), and you're cut off from most of the problems in the world. You can spread your wings and fly. Assuming that you're not scared of heights. It can be a daunting and stressful experience, but at the same time provides for the student a moment in their lives where all of the pieces of useless information they learned in high school can come together (except for Trigonometry... that's still useless). So for those of you who are hating college- try to enjoy it, knowing that these will probably be the best years of your life (Again though, unless you're premed).

And with, I bid you a carefree Christmas, a nonchalant New Year's, a blithe Boxing Day, and a pretty and politically-correct other holiday. I'm sorry if you were expecting a more epic post for the start of my hiatus, but you're going to have to just deal. And chances are I'll think of some new material over the break, so expect a nice return.

Turning Every Holiday Into Canadian Thanksgiving!

Well, apparently yesterday was Veteran's Day. And I didn't realize it until somebody told me at around 2 o'clock. Why is this, you may ask, that I have such blatant disregard for our country and all of its rituals? Well, it's simple

The Cornell does not
Believe in holidays or
Patriotism


That's right. Holidays to Cornell are about as real as the Tooth Fairy or separation of church and state (sorry for the spoilers). Labor day? Veteran's Day? Professing your love for America? Unimportant. Yom Kippur? Rosh Hashana? Being Jewish? Nope, not legitimate excuses for holidays. Diwali? Nope. Canadian Thanksgiving? No, although it doesn't really count as a holiday to anyone, does it? In any of these cases (well, most of them), the holidays that are generally accepted by our country as legitimate excuses for days off are not accepted by Cornell. We do get Columbus day, but they pull a cheap shot and make it the same weekend as our "fall vacation" so they really only give us one real day for that break.

On the bright side, next year Labor Day will be given to us as a real day off. However, classes will start a day earlier to compensate.

In other news, our Winter break will still remain ridiculously long so that you do end up stranded at home weeks after all of your friends have left.

The Windshield Wiper Widower

So I am (finally) home for fall break. After my 7 hour bus ride, I arrived home and surprised my parents. On the bus, I had planned to accomplish tons of work. When that obviously failed to be done, I decided to do some haiku writing. However, I even failed at that and only was able to crank out 4 haikus. I then solved 4 clues in the New York Times Crossword Puzzle, and then just stared into space for the remaining trip while trying to fall asleep.

While I was listening to the incredibly annoying "squuueeeeeeeeek...... squuuueeeeeeeeeeek..... squueeeeeeeek" sounds of the windshield wipers (which sounded remarkably like a tortured cat... not that I know the sound of a tortured cat) I realized something:

Windshield wipers are
One invention that cannot
Be abused by man


Yes, it may seem obvious, but I bet you've never thought of that. We always hear about all sorts of fantastic inventions of man kind being abused by power or simply being misused (for instance, a cane in the hands of William Zantzinger, a pipe in the hands of Colonel Mustard, or a microphone in the hands of Miley Cyrus). However, we never hear about people misusing windshield wipers. I wonder why that is (just wait till tomorrow when the "windshield wiper widower" serial killer strikes and proves me wrong). And yes, this is random, but I'm tired, so be quiet. And I'm home. Mmmmm, Tempurpedic.

There once was a man from Nantucket....

Well, fall break is finally upon us! A whole 4 days of freedom (technically 2, since half of them are the weekend anyways)! Well anyway, I will have much time to think this weekend since I shall be avoiding work as best as I can (well, until it's inevitable for me to revise that paper, write that other paper, and write that yet other paper). But yeh, so by think I guess I mean that I will have some time to write haikus and songs and such, which brings me to my main point. Today, I was asked (by myself, but nonetheless), "why don't you write limericks?" It's a very good question (I sure am smart), considering that limericks are almost always comedic and seem perfect for me to write (I did actually go through a limerick writing phase, believe it or not). Now, I could say something along the lines of "well, limericks are too long and are in themselves enough to stand alone, and therefore could not be accompanied by a good post" and this would be an adequate (who on Earth thought of spelling that word like that? Took me 4 tries to get it right) answer. However, it would be a lie. I shall relay the proper answer in haiku form:

Limericks can be
Fantastic, but require much
More work than haikus


Well that's the reason in a nutshell. I am lazy, and alas, far too lazy to write limericks. That being said however, I will now spontaneously write a limerick to continue my trend of contradicting myself. I will give it to you uncensored, and draft it as I write this post.

There once was a boy from Cornell
And in Clara Dickson he dwelt
He had a single
Which let him mingle
With all of Cornell's pretty belles


First let me clarify, that boy is not me. And second, that did not turn out quite like I had intended at all. I had meant to make it something ridiculous and then have crossed out words which would turn it into something less ridiculous. It ended up being witty enough in the end, and I'm too lazy to dish out more. Sheesh, soooo demanding. I gave you your limerick, damnit! Leave me be!