Skuggs

If you've been paying any attention to my Twitter feed (if you aren't, you should. If only just to follow me), you will see that I put up a new haiku.

Whoever thought of
Wearing Uggs with skirts should be
Stoned to death with Uggs


I wrote and posted this haiku from my phone as I was walking to lunch. I counted 5 different people, walking in the feels-like-40-degree weather wearing skirts and Uggs. Let me count the things wrong with this picture (a list that could go on for much longer than this post).

First: It is freezing cold outside. Do not wear a skirt. Function before fashion. Oh, and not dying of swine flu before fashion as well.

Second: Uggs + Skirts = A no-no. Uggs are for winterwear, skirts are for summer. That would be like wearing your winter coat with a skirt (oh wait, people do that).

Third: Uggs in Ithaca are a no-no. There is a ton of salt used here, and they WILL be eaten alive by it before the 6 month winter is up.

Fourth: Uggs in general are a no. I'm sorry to anyone who likes them, but they are simply not practical. It would be like me walking around in the freezing cold wearing my house shoes, it's just not right. Only, you spent 80 dollars on those house shoes, they're uglier than house shoes, and they give you the illusion of having actual protection on your feet. They will absorb moisture like a sponge. They will easily be pierced by the smallest thing on the ground. Oh, and they're ugly, did I mention that? But I guess it's your money you're wasting.

And when I say "stoned" in my haiku, I mean killed by any means necessary that involves an ironic death brought on by Uggs. This could be resultant of a beating with Uggs, a stoning with Uggs, asphyxiation with Uggs, or the creation of an epic weapon using Uggs and a combination of scrap metal found around the Foundry (the art experiment building here).

I personally vote that anyone who wears Uggs with skirts be called a "Skugg" (a clever combination of "Ugg" and "Skirt"). It's about as attractive a word as the outfit is.

Sorry to any Ugg fans I'm offending.  As I said, it's your 80 dollars. And it will be gone within 1 winter. You could buy a pair of real boots for less than that, and they may last you your four years here.