The Organic Haiku

So last night was Bo Burnham. He was absolutely hilarious and amazing and creative, and all the while offensive. At one point, he had haikus. These were pure genius. However, I noticed something:

Bo Burnham writes great
Haikus but he cheats on syl-
Lables, just like that.


I noticed that many of his haikus would have hyphenated words, so they weren't pure (or organic, as you will). However, it really doesn't matter when performing since I feel like I was probably one of the only audience members to notice this. But for that matter, I have decided to write a haiku with hyphens for today, which makes writing a haiku significantly easier.

I am proud to say
That this haiku was not test-
Ed on animals


See, easy. Now to talk about that haiku. You see all sorts of products these days that are tested on animals (pigs with lipstick anyone?) and on the other side of things, you see tons of organic products and such that are not tested on animals, even if it's a little unnecessary (high heels for sale! Not tested on animals!.... this is of course debatable depending on how you view models). So that being said, I am very proud to say that this specific (organic) haiku was not tested on animals (I cannot vouch for that claim for all of my other haikus). This fact shows you how environmentally friendly I am, and how deathly afraid I am of interacting with the farm animals we have here at Cornell (the squirrels always run away). All the more reason that you should be happy sending me your money (that is assuming that you are, in fact, sending me checks in the mail).