I vant to suck your blood!

In recent years, the book/movie Twilight has become a sensation among teen girls, vampires, and Anne Coulter (who arguably falls into the 2nd category). I'd like to state that I, falling into none of these categories, have not read the books. That being said, I will speak.

As cool as vampires are, I find that they are, in fact, a little bit overrated. First of all, they cannot come out in the day time. Can you say S.A.D.? I mean really, life without sunlight would get incredibly depressing. You would never know the joys of playing tag, or frisbee, or cloud watching, or any of the myriad of wonderful things to do in the sun. Second, you need to drink blood. I mean, you could drink the blood of animals, but what if a farmer sees you and fires a shotgun at you that happens to be loaded with a silver bullet? That would just be unfortunate. Also, would vampires have to worry about STDs and all sorts of diseases when sucking blood? Is there any sort of protection they can use or do they just have to pray (without the cross and holy water, of course) for the best? There are a few other issues I shall not touch upon, but the most important one by far is as such:

Vampires are truly
Overrated. Who wants to
Live without garlic?


Seriously, there are soooo many amazing foods you are missing out on if you don't eat garlic. Some of the greatest dishes ever (many Asian dishes for instance) have garlic as a key ingredient. Given, it does make your breath smelly,  but only in moderation. One might argue that vampires don't eat, and therefore would not care, but that is completely irrelevant.

Finalement!