Pride of Laziness

Well, the day is finally upon us. Today is.... the final day of classes! No more lectures for almost two months! Of course, there are still finals, final papers, final labs, final fantasies, and last suppers. I feel as though I'm much less excited than I should be. Oh well.

In the news, Cornell has received an(other) award from the City of Ithaca. What do I have to say about the award (before you know anything about it)? My haiku:

Laziness is a
Merit that has once again
Proved to be useful


This award is called the "Pride of Ownership" award (should be "Pride of Laziness"), and it was presented to Cornell for its fantastic landscape (or lack thereof) architecture on Libe Slope. Right now, it is overgrown, which apparently creates:

"A beautifully textured counterpoint to the areas currently mown more frequently and a stunning setting for I.M. Pei's Johnson Museum of Art."

It's reminiscent of how my cat doesn't clean his back, which I would say creates a "textured counterpoint." I can't exactly vouch for its beauty.

Yes, this is a prime example of the payoff that laziness provides. You too can get far in life and earn rewards for doing absolutely nothing! That is what you come to Cornell to learn. Although if you do nothing chances are you'll be kicked out (unless you play hockey). Rather ironic, don't you think? If I stop doing work, I don't think I'll get any sort of award for creating a "beautifully textured counterpoint" to other students who do work. Hypocrisy.

I've thought of a couple of other award we could get in other departments for laziness:


Construction: I'm surprised we haven't gotten anything for this yet, but we should get something for our construction by Rand, which "creates a hideous counterpart to the architecture building, where the students are learning to design buildings that are supposed to be artistic"

Winter Maintenance: I'm sure you've seen the signs saying "No Winter Maintenance." Well, I think we should get a reward for the leaves on the grass creating a "beautifully textured counterpoint" to the grass.

The Food In Okenshield's: You've all likely been victim to it, but have you thought about its award potential? It could be for creating a "textured counterpoint" to the food in any other dining hall. That is, the food is textured. And gross. Which is a counterpoint to the rest of the food on campus!