A Public Service Announcement

I normally avoid alienating any of my possible readership with controversial issues. However, today I felt that this issue simply could not have been avoided. That's right, I'm talking about a horrible disease spreading rapidly through our nation's youth: Hipsterism.

In the news, the U.S. Census went out and the government has been frantically trying to get the word out there. However, there are some neighborhoods that they have trouble with. In the past, the worst response rate has come out of the projects and other poverty-stricken regions of the city. However, this year the most hassle hasn't come from those regions, it's come from an even worse-stricken part. If you guessed the hipster part, you're right.

So what is hipsterism exactly? Well, symptoms include feeling cooler than you actually are, wearing clothing for the sake of being "ironic" (for instance, advertising a brand you don't care about), not understanding the meaning of the word "ironic," listening to indie music, trying your hardest not to conform and ironically conforming in the process, and wearing a mustache for no real reason at all. If you only have one or two of these symptoms, it's somewhat normal- but if it sounds like I'm describing your life, I would seek seek help immediately. A prescription I would personally recommend is a large dosage of Lady Gaga music.

In spite of all that, I don't really have anything against hipsters, they're just an easy group to make fun of. Here's my real problem:

If you don't have time
To fill out a minute-long
Sheet, there's something wrong.

Really, you could finish the census before you reach the chorus in "Party in the U.S.A." Here's some other things you could finish the census faster than: sending a witty tweet that you purposefully try to think of, writing a poorly-worded love poem to your significant other, brushing your teeth properly, shaving, and many many more. Seriously, it's a tiny little thing and it's the least you could do for your government even if you don't agree with its practices. And yes, I may be a little biased since I'm taking a sociological statistics class, but still- JUST DO IT!

Sorry for the length of this post. In the time it took me to write it I probably could have filled out 5 censuses (censi?) or more.

Source: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=125811666