If I had a pet miniature person, I'd paint them gold and name them Oscar

Okay, I lied. It's another beautiful day today, in spite of my prediction. The sky is blue and it's warm. Strangely enough.

I'd say that Spring is here, but I'd rather not jump the gun.

Tonight is a rather large event in Hollywood. It is the Oscars. Another chance for rich and famous Hollywood stars to become richer and more famous. I'd share my predictions with you, except I don't really care.

The best part of each
Award show is not awards.
It's all about hosts.


Really, if I wanted to know who won which award I'd look online, or on the cases for the DVDs, where they're bound to appear. The only real reason to watch the Oscars is for the hosts. This year, it's Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, who I reckon will double-handedly make it worth watching. Of course, neither is quite as handsome as Hugh Jackman, but honestly, that's not a qualification (trust me). I hope that this year's Academy Awards (which, for some reason, is just another name for the Oscars, although having an Oscar is a great honor than having an Academy Award if you ask me... it's like having a little person named Oscar) will be as entertaining as I expect. If not, I'll turn them off and watch some comedy compilation of the funny moments on Youtube. The end.

Grammy, You Belong With Me

Well, last night was the Grammys. Artists such as Beyonce and Taylor Swift finally got the respect they deserved in the form of more awards (that was sarcastic). The only thing I really cared about was Leonard Cohen, who finally received a lifetime achievement award, something that should have happened a long time ago. But really, I'm glad that the Grammys are here. Otherwise, how will I know whether Taylor Swift or Beyonce really is better? I definitely can't listen to the music and decide based on my individual tastes which are different from the Grammy award choosers. No, that would be far too difficult. You see,

We need the Grammys
To tell us what to think. How
Else would we judge songs?


It's not like any good music exists other than the mainstream. And every good band wins a Grammy, right? And every band that doesn't definitely can't be significant. Bands and individuals like Led Zeppelin, The Who, Queen, The Grateful Dead, The Doors, Diana Ross, or Neil Young are simply unimportant and invalidated considering that they never received the ever-so-high honor of a Grammy award.

If I were to guess, this is how the Grammys work: "Okay, let's open up the top 25 albums of this year... now boot up the randomizer. DONE!" Really, every year so many quality musicians are ignored based on the overly simplistic classification system. And, no this doesn't have to do with the fact that I have discovered more marvelous musicians in whose music I marinade. If you know me, chances are you've heard of God Help the Girl (who are amazing), but I also just discovered and ordered two CDs for Fredrika Stahl. Check them out. They might not be nearly popular enough to warrant a Grammy, but the fact of the matter is just because a band isn't popular does not mean that they aren't good, or vice versa. Really, I'm sure most of you were rooting for one person for an award, and someone else won. There's reason enough to take every Grammy with a grain of salt. Also, Flight of the Conchords and Mika weren't nominated.

Title is a play on Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me"